The Silver Lining of Moving Day

This week has been another challenging week in the camper! I enjoy hearing people say things like "what you're doing is awesome!" or "I wish I could do something like this too!" because it makes me feel like we maybe aren't crazy for the decision we've made. It's not that I am really concerned about what people think (c'mon, I wouldn't be living in a camper if that were the case!), but it helps remind me to look to the positive and ignore the negative. I'm reminded that the pain and irritation of a given situation is transient, but the memories and laughs will be what we will remember.

There truly is something there, in that way of thinking. For instance, let me show you a few snapshots of what has gone wrong in our camper this week.

As you know, the brother-in-law is in town. And as such, apparently when brothers get together, it's necessary for brothers to wrestle with complete disregard to their whereabouts. Well, they wrestled.... and accomplished breaking the table that was already on it's last leg. So we are now table-less.

Silver lining is that we have a picnic table outside and that there's an IKEA in Tampa where we can pick up a cheap wooden table.

The door that closes off the master bedroom from the rest of the camper has broken. That's lots of fun. ;)

Silver lining is that the hubs now works for Budget Blinds and he has all the handy tools to fix a mishap like this one.

The doorknob to the only bathroom closet on-board has broken. Last week, you had to jiggle it and bang on the door just a certain way to get it to open. This week, we got completely locked out. The handle broke when the door was shut and so JD had to take the handle off... after about an hour of fighting to get the door open without breaking it down.

The water line for our ice machine is also shot. We encountered this Week #1 in the camper, so it doesn't really count when we're talking about recently, but it still happened! JD and my brother-in-law worked on it a bit this week, but parts and less children in the camper are needed to perform the repair.

I'm convinced my dad checked out of this camper at just the right time. Clearly, the warranty just went up on this baby earlier this year. Right? Isn't that how things always work?

Silver Lining is that I have an amazing husband that can fix damn-near anything. He'll get this all cleaned right up.

So I believe I was supposed to be talking about moving. Monday and Tuesday of this past week found JD and I incredibly stressed out. We had to move the camper by Wednesday.... but we had no way of moving the camper. Really. My dad's truck has the hitch on it for this fifth-wheel (for those that aren't trailer-saavy, you need a special, expensive hitch to pull a camper like this one with a powerful truck) and he's a solid 850 miles away from us. JD has a truck, but it's only a 1500 so not quite strong enough AND we do not have a hitch here in Tampa. To top it off, we didn't know exactly where we were going to be moving to. I'm sure you can imagine the level of stress floating around in the camper!

Luckily, we scored a sweet deal with the RV Resort we are already staying in and just had to move within the park. But we still had to find someone to move us. I blasted all over Facebook, trying desperately to find someone that could help us. This wasn't your average "Can I borrow your truck?" request - we needed to find A) someone willing B) a big truck and C) a hitch. I even called a tow company, but they wanted $250 to just show up. We knew THAT wasn't going to happen before even hanging up the phone with them!

Luckily (again) at 9 AM on Wednesday (only the day we needed to be checked out by, at 11 AM! No big deal.), JD found a very generous man inside of our RV park that would help us move. Talk about last minute! We were able to get moved and get our more permanent home set up. We'll be here until November at least, folks!

By the skin of our teeth, we were able to get moved just in time to our new spot. (Cue the fanfare) Dun du duh!

So welcome home. This is it, until at least November 1 and maybe even longer. It's shady and cool... and perfect. So perfect that I've been able to experience moments like these since moving.

I love Florida. 

Yes, I miss home. 

Yes, it's hard from time to time. 

Yes, I feel like we are standing on the edge of our future. 

Yes, we are struggling to maintain the small hand-hold we've been able to carve out.

But I told ya I'm not looking back. There's nothing like your kid asking to go to the beach, and being able to take them any day. There's nothing like continually learning and continually seeking to learn new things about life. There is NOTHING like choosing to design your life.

If you could choose any way to live your life, what would it look like?

Why should retirees get to have all the fun?

Live for today. Guess and put-away for tomorrow. 

Most of all... decide to live.

Things may be get hard, and that's fine.

Because there's always a silver lining like my son doing a headstand on the beach. 

A Sense of Community

So the past week has produced a lengthy gamut of emotions in the camper; all strong - some good, some bad, some stressful, some joyous. As I mentioned in an earlier post, JD made the 848 mile trek back from Memphis to our little resting spot in Florida two weeks ago tomorrow. He brought his teenage brother home with him, which has been wonderful. This adventure gave them some bro-time (the original kind, not the new age Bro Code stuff; they are brothers after all) and allowed JD to have a buddy in the truck for the long haul. It has also opened some doors of communication in our nuclear family and our extended family.

One of the recurring themes that has come up over the past week is the idea of community. Webster's dictionary defines community as "a unified body of individuals, as a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society." There is a sense of community and love inside of each of our homes... but at many points, there seems to be some disconnect. The sense of community goes out the window in many circumstances - when Mom is fed up (over-worked and under-paid!), when the teenage child demands "it's not my job!", when a hard-working parent gets home and just wants a break but is instead met with a household that needs attention. We all do it. We all try to draw other people in, to help us with the mass of work that needs to be accomplished to live together. 

What I've been perplexed about this week is how best to go about getting that done. How do you instill the sense of community into a spouse that's never seen it? How do you convince a self-centered teenager that life indeed does not revolve around her or him? How do you show a child that the lifestyle of utilitarianism (the idea that the useful is good, with pleasure holding the highest possible balance over pain) truly is a great way to live life, not to mention a helpful way to contribute to their livelihood? How does one make sure that the ways you're handling given situations are helpful and not damaging? 

These things had plagued me day in, and day out. But I really think that the answer to those questions is different for us all. Every situation is unique. For me, I have a hawk-eye focus on the work-play balance in my family. We work together quickly and then we play together slowly. Here's a good example that happened just tonight, after dinner - 

My wonderful husband put dinner on the table tonight and then proceeded to do the dishes. PS - we do not have a top-o'-the-line camper so we don't have a dishwasher so someone has to do them day in, and day out. After a couple of nights of worrying whether I'm teaching my children to help or bullying my children into submission, tonight my 2-year-old begged to help wash the dishes... and believe it or not, he was pissed when there were no more dishes to be done! So I'm no longer worried about that; I think we're doing a great job instilling a work ethic in our children. It does, however, remain to be seen if it stays when our kids are teenagers, but that's another worry for another day. This anecdote was nothing more than a poignant moment in our lives, living with a 14-year-old young adult, a 2 year-old child, and a 5 month-old baby. Take from it what you will.

But our philosophy of work first, play second really does work. Help your community (i.e. your spouse, children, and household, and then larger circles. NEVER EVER EVER EVER the other way around. EVER.) and then you yourself will be served. Here are some shot of my family having a blast this week because we worked hard and chose to spend this time together - 

Life shouldn't be subjected to all work.

Let me repeat that, because it bears repetition.

Life should not be subjected to work only.

Don't pour your life into building your house to be beautiful and worthy of notice. What if it catches fire one day and burns down? Who really cares anyways? I promise, your neighbors will only care IF and WHEN it truly is burning down.

Don't pour your life into your job. In the blink of an eye, if can be someone else's job, no matter how much you've sacrificed and how many hours you've stored in those corporate safes.

Don't pour your life into your image. You will change. If there's one thing that life promises us, it's that life will change. Don't waste away chasing the here and now.  Tomorrow, that will be the gone and old. So just stop.

Instead, pour yourself into the next generation. Be you. Work first. Do the things that need to be done within your home, like dishes, and dog-walking, and children-putting-down, and taking the trash out. And then play. 

Maybe you don't agree with me... and that's fine. But putting the meaningful work first makes the play a million times better. Test my theory. I dare you.

Peace is...

I've been thinking about peace a lot lately. Not the "opposite of wartime" meaning, but that bone-deep, inner peace that is achieved in one's heart and mind. I posted an open-ended question on Facebook yesterday that said, "Peace is..." Here are some of the answers I got -
Peace is... born of acceptance of the beautiful differences that surround us.
Peace is... joy resting; Joy is peace dancing.
Peace is... acceptance. When you can accept who you are, you will be at peace.
All were beautiful. All were personal. But I only got seven responses. Seven. Seven people out of 635 friends had an idea of what peace is for them. One of the big things I believe we lack as an advanced civilization is the idea of peace. I love this old Zen saying - 

 You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy. 

Then you should sit for an hour.

The truth is that too many of us will not carve out an hour a day to care for ourselves. We wonder why there is so much stress in life, why on some days, it feels as if you cannot even draw a breath. Maybe answers would come if we followed that Zen principle. 

Get alone somewhere. Just sit. 

Don't talk. Sit only. 

Set an alarm to mark your time so your brain isn't occupied doing it.

I could hypothesize that many people wouldn't know what to think about, what to do while you're sitting. In time, it will come to you. Try getting alone every day for one week, and tell me it doesn't help... you'll be a liar. It will help. When I find a moment, even if I'm elbows deep in some meaningless task, I go to another place in my mind. For instance -

Yesterday, my family and I went to the beach and everyone was worn out when we got back. Both of the kids were knocked out and JD and his brother played a video game. I saw my moment. I grabbed my Kindle, stepped out of the camper, and set up shop in nature. I read for a bit but the imagery of the story drew me into my own thoughts and away from the written words. I found myself here...

and here...

and here.

See, to me, peace is an ever-changing state. I find it when I stop for a few minutes. I have to force myself to, because I know I need it. I find it when I catch some time between the constant demands of running my home and caring for my men. It may not seem like much, but my sanity rests in those small snatches of time. I treasure those moments. Peace is in the run I get to go on by myself. Peace is in those few fleeting moments on a patio, book in hand. Peace is in those sweet, trusting moments when my child relaxes into dreamland, heavy in my arms. I hope to be ever-searching for peace... and I hope you are too. Without peace and serenity, this world will carry you away. Find your peace. Leave your mark.

The Choice In the Dash

The past couple of days have been... challenging, to say the least.

On Sunday, I took JD to the airport around 6 A.M. so he could catch a flight back to Memphis to pick up our dogs, his truck, and a few things we neglected to pack up when we came down the first time. Monday, he drove back with the truck loaded down and with his baby brother. Monday was also the day that my boys decided to wake up at 5 A.M. for a party in Mama's bed... and I'm convinced they had a little meeting while I dozed off and decided to be little hellions for the rest of the day.

Monday was one of the worst days Parenthood has ever thrown to me. The baby is cutting SIX teeth right now. The toddler didn't understand why the baby screamed all day. The baby cried when he was held; the baby cried when he was set down. The baby wouldn't nap. And all the while, my husband could not be here to help and Mason could not understand what was going on.

I'm not going to lie - I cried a lot Monday!

But Tuesday came. The sun did rise again. Monday was just a bad day.

JD made it home perfectly safe... and now we have an extra kiddo in the camper and two dogs! That makes seven of us. In 400 sq. feet. You might be thinking that we are insane but actually, we are having a lot of fun!

One of the FUNNIEST things that has come out of this camper adventure is a game I'm dubbing "Where's Mason?" He cannot open the main door to the outdoors, but he can work all of the sliding doors and door knobs inside the camper. So at night, when everyone else is asleep, he likes to go on little adventures and fall asleep somewhere other than his bed. We've found him in a variety of places....

We've found him UNDER our bed.

We've found him on the floor of his room.

We've found him on the rug in the kitchen area.

We've found him on the couch, snuggled up with the dogs.

We've found him in our bathroom.

We've even found him playing quietly and patiently in the living room.

While I have been given to wonder how much sleep the child is actually getting, it's something funny (and a little scary, until I learned how to play the game) to wake up to every morning.

Life is setting in and we are adjusting. We're not on vacation. This is real life with real bills and real jobs. However, Real Life On the Beach isn't a bad reality!

What I want to leave you with tonight is a question. A good friend of mine (who happens to live in England!) messaged me today with this amazing e-mail:

"Wish me luck. I'm officially out of my comfort zone. Bought a touring caravan, laid new carpet in it, cleaned it out and in 10 minutes decided we were off to a camp site. Chucked everything in a bag. Went to Shop for lovely food and am now on motorway (very slowly). Not as big a leap as yours but my own little triumph. Hoping the kids will love it."

Reading her message gave me the silliest little tickle in my belly. What we are doing - the happiness, the excitement, the trials, the tears - all of it has inspired someone else to get out of THEIR comfort zone and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. That's amazing to me. 

It got me to thinking about how we all interact. How we bounce off of each other and take small things away to influence our daily lives. Who would have thought that this little blog or this move would have impacted anyone besides the two of us and our kids? So, I want you to try to think, try to become aware of how you interact with everyone around you. 

Are you a positive influence that people flock to? 

Or are you a Negative Nancy that people may listen to, but roll their eyes when they re-tell the story? 

Is a bad day just a bad day to you?

Or is a bad day yet another reason to lose hope?

Are you setting out to inspire and transform? 

Or are you just fine with being born, being alive for awhile, then dying? 

You have one chance, one life, to make that dash on your tombstone mean more than just a dash.... 

Get your hands dirty.

If you don't like something, stop whining about it. Change it.

If something hurts you, stop whining about it and stop letting it hurt you.

But if something makes you happy... oh my, if something truly makes you happy, let it in! 

Revel in it.

Dance in it's light. And never apologize for it.

The choice is yours. Make tomorrow a great day.

'Twas the Night of... Bodily Fluids?

So a couple of days ago, I read a blog post about bedsharing. We bedshare and co-sleep, so I knew it would be a great read. It was humorous and mentioned many of the funny things that have happened to this particular family in bed. I just spent 20 minutes looking for the post and I can't find it. I always like to share what inspires me... but with my Momnesia acting up, I've remembered the content and not the source! So you're out of luck there.

In the post, the dad talked about one night when they had to change the sheets... five times. Someone sat up and puked, so he and his wife changed the sheets. Again, someone sat and puked... another sheet change. And so on, until morning finally came. I giggled in my head the whole time and thought "wow, we are so lucky to have never dealt with THAT before!"

As soon as I thought it, I knew I was screwed. I immediately wanted to un-think it.

Naturally, we had a bedsharing event last night! The baby woke up around 4 A.M. and because I did the dream feed, I punched JD in the back (nicely, of course!) and asked him to get up with Lucas. He did, and fed the babe a bottle. I rolled over and snuggled back into my pillow.

And then I hear the hiccup. And then a gasp. My MomRadar went off and the light was instantly on. Lucas had puked all over the bed and both of us. Yep, I knew it! My stupid thoughts jinxed us. 

I don't know if you've ever made a bed in a camper before, but it's not easy! There is very little wiggle room and zero space to set your linens, either clean OR dirty. Add to that the mental fog that comes with 4 A.M. and a pukey kid... It's a miracle, but we got the sheets changed and everyone settled back down.... 45 minutes later.

I thought it was over. Surely it was over, right?

Of course not. Morning came and I saw our older son playing in the connected bathroom. I called him over to the bed for snuggles. I wrapped my arms around him and my forearm was soaked. The damn diaper leaked. Fantastic.

See, a few days earlier, I bought some cheapie diapers at Publix. I didn't have any coupons for the name-branders so I just went with the generic and kept that $3 (take that, Huggies!). I've never used the Publix brand before but I was sure they would be fine.

They are not fine.

I got up and changed Mason, even though I had every intention of snuggling up to him and going back to sleep for another 30 minutes or so. After, he raced to his bed and said "uh oh, Mama! Uh oh!"

Uh oh, indeed, my friend.

His diaper leaked all over his bed. His cheap, foam, camper mattress. With no waterproof cover on it. Awesome.

This morning found me outside in my pajamas with some crazy bed-hair, being oogled by a nosy neighbor while I sprayed down this cheap bunkbed mattress. I left it outside, trusting in the Florida sun to get the stain out.

It seems like the sun and I were indeed able to save the mattress. A good thing too, because I have no idea where to even start to get one of these replaced!

And so we've come to the end of my silly tale. I hope you've gotten a giggle or two. ;) I'll leave you with this. Though I doubt the artist ever thought this quote would be likened to bedtime woes, we did indeed tackle a difficult task or two last night. Climb your hills and have a wonderful Saturday night!

In Which We Learn Things

Good afternoon friends! I hope that whatever today has had in store for you has made you happy. If not, lick your wounds tonight and get up and chart a new path tomorrow. It's time to do what makes you happy.

Speaking of doing what makes you happy, several people have asked what we are staying in and where we are living, so I thought I'd show you.

Quaint, right? 

We downsized from a 7,000-ish sq. foot house where we lived with my dad, my baby sister, four dogs, and my small family of four. Even though there was a lot of us there, to say that we had elbow room would be a massive understatement! Our new digs offer a stellar 400-ish sq. feet of living space and a whole lot of outside. We have two bedrooms, a bathroom, and our family space is the true definition of an "open floorplan." Our dining room, kitchen, and living room are a tight fit as quite literally, they are all in one tiny room.... did I say "tight fit?" I meant "cozy." I'm sure that's what I meant! But I guess it's working out because Mason just saw this picture on my screen and said "Mama! It's home!"

Being in such a small space, there are some new rules we've been working on as a family. 

1) Spend as much time outside as possible. We've done the beach, the pool, the playground, the library, etc. etc. just to get us all out of the house. Besides, we don't have a vacuum cleaner yet so I'm trying to keep the floors as clean as possible. ;)

2) Respect what little privacy each of us has. No bathroom-barging in (I'm extremely thankful for this one!), no group showering , and only one cook in the kitchen at a time.

3) Keep the toddler HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! Whatever it takes! Dealing with a two-year-old meltdown in a camper is the least fun thing I can think of doing.

4) Don't use the ice machine. It floods the kitchen and the boys' bedroom. Awesome.

5) Don't close the doors to the master bedroom. One of the sliding doors will fall off the hinge and smack someone at any moment.

6) Don't turn off the A/C. This is the cardinal rule.

7) (Now this is a fun one!) Cook with as few materials as possible. 

We went from a large, well-equipped kitchen with a full dishwasher, double oven, huge refrigerator, and a flattop range to.... this. While it isn't bad at all (Let's be honest here, it's better than eating around a fire on our haunches while gnawing on a raw rabbit leg, straight up Caveman-Style), but catering to us all here has it's own challenges! So, we use as few dishes as possible. 

8) Become hyper organized. In case you've never been in a camper, there are about a thousand nooks and crannies in which you can place things. This is obviously for safety when traveling down the road. However, it can be problematic when you know a particular item is here but cannot remember where it was placed. #annoying #dontloseyourstuff

9) Grocery shop weekly. This B cannot store a stockpile worthy of a Sam's Club!

10) Last, but absolutely not least - have a sense of humor. We are living on top of each other and sometimes, what happens is just plain funny. 

Like when you're living with three boys that pass enough gas to out-stink a herd of cattle and you have to detox the air in the camper. 

Or when the toddler colors with pen on the carpet, his face, and his favorite giraffe.

Or when the toilet gets stopped up by an unsuspecting user. It's a four-inch hole in the floor of the camper. How, you ask? Ask my husband.

Or when someone falls down the steps or out of a bunk bed (No injuries, I promise. Those are not funny.)

Or when you nearly fall in the toilet because someone forgot to put the seat back down.

Or when your husband tries to be sweet and sets you on the dining room table for a kiss... but the tabletop breaks because there's only aluminum holding it up! It was clearly NOT designed to hold the weight of a full-grown woman. The table still functions, but it's a loud reminder to NOT sit on something that is not a seat.

In all honesty, we are having a blast. It gets hard at moments, but I know we are making memories to last us a lifetime. These next five months in this camper will be a period of time we look back to for many, many years. 

But let's get back to how I started this post. For many of you, it's dinner time. Family members are pouring in the door, there's enough dirty laundry to clothe a football team (when it's clean, that is), and everyone is demanding food. You may have had a horrible day at work and felt like the dirt your superiors walk on. If I'm talking to you, I want you to ask yourself "Am I happy?" Is the empire you build every day when you walk away from your heart at home making you happy?

If you are happy, I am ecstatic for you. You are one of the few!

If you're not, decide to make a change. Start fitting the puzzle pieces together to get yourself to a better place. Please, please don't wake up when you're 87 and realize you've wasted your life. If you want to climb a mountain, go climb a mountain. If you want to live somewhere else, move. Own your decisions. Start dreaming your own blueprint.

The Decision

Hey friends. I call you 'friend' because you're about to come along on a journey with my family and I, and I wouldn't bring just anyone along. This is us (I promise we won't take long on introductions): 

That sweet bundled-up newbie is our baby, Lucas. He was almost 3 weeks late (you can read all about that here) and as such, is the final installment of the Linton line.

That little kid you see who is completely distracted and picking at the chain of the swing is my boy, Mason. He is our Wild Man and the vibrancy that beats in my veins each day. He has changed me at my core, just by being alive.

That man in the boots? That is our workhorse. He is my problem-solver and the axis around which my world spins. My JD. This blog (...and the rest of my life as I know it) could not exist without him. He's the dreamer. He's the ambition.

And that's me, there, lying on the swing. I'm Amanda. I'm the writer, and the planner. I'm the artist behind our blueprint.

Now that you know all that, let's get caught up. Since the dawn of our marriage, JD and I have dreamed probably a million dreams. He is a far-fetched dreamer. He dreams about the long-term future, about the eventual pay-off of each dream. I dream about the right-now. I dream the foundation. We have not seen eye-to-eye on many, many things (a business called Beer Run, owning chickens, breeding dogs, selling jewelry, owning a restaurant, to name just a few) but we've also agreed on a lot, like:

Our Kids

Owning Property

Moving to a New Place (this is primarily what we'll talk about here)

and Changing Our Stars (we'll hit on this here and there, too, I hope).

For years, we tossed around five or six locales to move to. For a flip in our marriage, JD was the more practical spouse. He dreamed of staying in the South, near family and near a lifestyle we had grown up in. I, on the other hand, had stars in my eyes. My heart screamed for Chicago or New York (you can read about THAT here, but keep in mind, that was my first attempt at a blog. Don't judge me too harshly). One cold April morning in Mississippi, I was getting ready for my day and it dawned on me - let's move to Florida. A great friend of ours had moved only four months before. With each obstacle, an answer became clear. Before we knew it, we were packing and on our way for a visit.

These were taken at the beach. If you can't see the looks of joy on our faces... well, you're just blind. We had found home.

We came back to Mississippi and it became a driving passion to get to Florida. One short month later (with a little push and a lot of help from my Daddy), we had a rough plan in place. Attend an Advocare conference in Nashville on Saturday (kids and stuff in tow, by the way. Imagine a Ford Escape packed to the max... then add another 18 bags. That was my truck.) and dive head-first into Florida on Sunday.

Conveniently enough, at the Advocare Spring Breakthrough event, we heard from blogger, author, and New York Times bestseller, Jon Acuff. I was expecting this presentation to be lackluster at worst (sorry, Jon) and marginally motivational at best. Boy, was I wrong.

Jon put into words what we were already doing. He told us (and by "us", I mean the 750 folks in two rooms!) to start BEFORE you are ready. "Ready" does not exist. JD and I knew this. We weren't "ready". We just knew that something had to be different. But we had no idea that someone else had ever done something when they weren't "ready" too!

Being un-ready, we've found ourselves planning the next 5.5 months (at least) in a camper. Yep. A 38-foot camper. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice camper... but we'll be living in it. 
With babies. 
And dogs. 
And (maybe scariest yet)... each other!

Tonight, we've been here two weeks even. JD is so close to landing two jobs (one of which he really wants) and my kids are thriving. Mason adores the beach. Lucas loves watching and learning from his big brother.

If it looks like we're loving this decision, we are. 

Has it been scary?

YES.

Have we stepped on each other's toes?

YES.

Have we lost sleep?

YES.

But you know what, we STARTED

And y'all, I broke the rear-view mirror. 

I'm not looking back.